Update: Race for the Chops

Update: Race for the Chops

For the life of me, I’ll never understand why a segment about facial hair is so popular, but it is — and since I’m a man who’s too weak not to give the people what they want, here we go.

DATELINE: Annapolis, MD

The Race for the Chops is getting exciting as this race is really starting clear up.

James is clear ahead right now, having opened up a 67nm lead over the 2nd place boat — me. There was a time when James and I were neck and neck, but with a couple of smart moves (aka, really dumb moves by me) he made solid gains and never looked back. Both of our boats are essentially on autopilot at this point in the race, blast reaching their way into Singapore with the Code 0’s up. Unless something drastic changes at the 5:00pm wind update, neither one of us should have to adjust anything again.

Behind us, the race for the final podium spot is pretty tight between Warren and Aaron. To his credit, Warren clawed his way back from a last place suckfest in the middle of this race to hold a 9nm advantage in the race for third place — well done, Warren! To his skippering credit, Aaron ignored navigating for awhile and sat his boat almost head to wind for like 18 hours… but he too has been able to recover nicely.

But, with all due respect, screw the guys who are doing well. This whole ordeal has always been about the possibility of one of our staff growing completely absurd facial hair should they finish in last place, and that’s what we’re going to focus on.

And we’re proud to report that Ian from the Storefront is in a fantastic position to be our facial hair aficionado when all is said and done. But Mike from Fulfillment is doing his part to draw this race out as long as possible. Both of these skippers are using carefully choreographed systems of poor navigation and awful sail combinations, leading observers to wonder if he doesn’t want to grow the dreaded mutton chops.

With this stunning display of unskillful maneuvering, it really is anyone’s game. Don’t count out Jarrett — not because of any skill reasons, but because he’s queued up for a vacation during the holidays and will be away from a computer — the countdown is on for him. Can he make the final turn and pointing his mighty vessel down the strait, for a last push towards the promised land of the finish line (giggity…)? Or will he end up on the rocks, watching his dreams shatter and his beard selectively grow???

I don’t know about you — but I’m excited to see how this ends!

Standings via Distance to Finish
1st Place: Stern Scoop Editor, James (DTF: 67nm)
2nd Place: Stern Scoop Editor, Chris (DTF: 131nm)
3rd Place: Aaron from Customer Service (DTF: 257nm)
4th Place: Warren from Customer Service (DTF: 266nm)
5th Place: Jarrett from Rigging (DTF: 354nm)
6th Place: Mike from Fulfillment (DTF: ~395nm)
7th Place: Ian from the Storefront (DTF: 411nm)

“Why Is Rob On There?” Update
You may remember that Rob started a boat about 2/3 of the way through the race to get the feel for things before the next leg. Well, we put him on the map, just for giggles, to show that even he can’t screw up being placed in the perfect position. Well, that’s not true… he parked the boat for like a day and a half because “I couldn’t get an internet connection” all weekend. So I guess he did hose it up — bravo, sir.

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